571 Quotes by Augusten Burroughs

look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it

I made very good money and spent all of it every week. I lived paycheck to paycheck...

My goal was to get through the day as fast as possible. I worked fast because I wanted to be done. I wanted to be done because I wanted to go home to my nest and drink.

I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.

Turn off the light," she says as she walks away, creating a small woosh that smells sweet and chemical. It makes me sad because it's the smell she makes when she's leaving.

I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.

I was desperate to discover what nothing felt like. It was the absence of something that attracted me. It was the start. Everything important originated with nothingness.

Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping.

Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing. I'm telling you.