571 Quotes by Augusten Burroughs

We tried to everything right, now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working.

I feel like they are two different things, and when I write books, they’re just books. If they can be movies that’s okay. But I would write a novel that couldn’t be a film.

I sit there and think how it isn’t fair that I can’t drink at all, even a little. I realize I have crammed an entire lifetime of moderate drinking into a decade of hard-core drinking and that is why. I blew my wad.

To live in regret and change nothing else in your life is to miss the entire point.

I can no longer read a magazine and throw it on the floor. In exchange, I get unlimited access to the one person I have met in my life whom I automatically felt was out of my league. My favorite human being, the single person I cherish above all others. This is the person I get to share the oxygen in the room with.

Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there’s not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.

We have no control over anything large in life; only the small details are under our direct management. But even then, we lack any real authority.

Because I’ve lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bills at and eat at. It’s going to be nice to have actual space.

She reminded me of a scatterbrained old Cadillac that had been driven into the ground but somehow kept on starting, without fuss.