352 Quotes by Author Unknown

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

Yo momma's so fat, she walked past the TV and i missed the first season of Lost.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,May luck be yours on Halloween.