284 Quotes by Aziz Ansari

  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    I’m kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it’s like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    She broke up with me. Didn’t really tell me why. Luckily when you’re the guy, you can just tell people she’s crazy. ‘Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.’ ‘Yeah, man. Turns out, she’s crazy.’ That’s what they always do on Entourage.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    If passionate love is the coke of love, companionate love is like having a glass of wine or smoking a few hits of some mild weed.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don’t Cost a Thing with Nick Cannon. Which is based on Can’t Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer, or something, which I think was Shakespeare.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    I have an amazing metabolism. I’m sure that’ll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don’t think I’ll ever get really fat.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    I have no interest in art. Let me clarify – I have no interest in non-nude images.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    What’s cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn’t be able to joke about in stand-up.

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    The four sweetest words in the English language – ‘You wore me down.’

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  • Author Aziz Ansari
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    It made me wonder whether our ability and desire to interact with strangers is another muscle that risks atrophy in the smartphone world. You don’t need to make small talk with strangers when you can read the Beverly Hills, 90210 Wikipedia page anytime you want. Honestly, what stranger can compete with a video that documents the budding friendship of two baby hippopotamuses? No one, that’s who.

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