99 Quotes by Ben Elton

I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.

I loved writing 'Two Brothers' more than anything else I have written. It's the first book I've written that I've always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.

The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.

Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body; it had nothing whatsoever to do with a man's emotions. But if that was the case, why did it ache so?

I resent the creation of a world in which beauty is a reminder of what we're losing rather than a celebration of what we have.

For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you'll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I did not vote Labour because they've heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.

Leaders should never, ever try to look cool - that's for dictators