235 Quotes by Bill Bailey

I had this plan that David Byrne was going to come through the West Country one day, think, 'Who's that guy?' and ask me to go on tour with them.

I was always part of the end-of-term review at school. We would mercilessly mock any slight weakness in the teachers.

Comedy is an indoors thing, so I take every opportunity to go outside. A lot of that involves finding places that are remote, or places where you can look at birds, or do mountain biking or paddle boarding or walking.

When you say 'Hello Wembley!' you're not just saying hello to a large shed. You're saying, 'Hello, I'm following all the greats that have played here before.'

I don't like labels. I have always fought against that as a stand-up.

London is a great place to be over Christmas.

I was asked to perform at the Olympics Opening Ceremony. But I was up a tree in Borneo filming a documentary about Alfred Russel Wallace! So it couldn't be done.

I used to live on a houseboat near Hammersmith Bridge.

When the sun shines in Britain there's no finer place on Earth.