235 Quotes by Bill Bailey

As a comedian and satirist you have to be neutral, because everyone's fair game. Once you show bias, you lose that.

My comedy comes from the actual music itself - they're observational musical gags. I could take the music away and it would just be some words.

I think people are quite refreshed with politicians who aren't concerned with what Arctic Monkeys track they like, but with the day-to-day, dull business of politics.

There is something very poignant about plastic bags. These lonely plastic bags that gradually disintegrate.

In my twenties, I floated around for years, doing the odd theatre job but mainly leading a hedonistic lifestyle, getting intoxicated in plenty of different ways in plenty of different places.

As I get older, I have a very strong urge to know about stuff. I want to learn the names of trees and birds; that's the sort of knowledge I want to pass on to my son.

Comedy should be fluid. It should be both Left and Right wing.

One of the things I do really appreciate is that my audiences tend to be a wide range of ages and backgrounds, and I ascribe that to putting in the hours.

The worst thing is when people try and take pictures surreptitiously. I always say, 'Look, you can ask me for a photograph. You will get a much better one than just the side of my face.' Sometimes they just run off. They can't cope.