625 Quotes by Bill Watterson

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

The problem about the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it into the classroom.And now, while the analogy sinks in, I will be leaving you drips and going outside...

People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.

Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you'll either get run over or shot!