221 Quotes by Billy Crystal

The reason we are together is because she puts lead in my shoes and doesn't let me fly off the earth. And it's always been that way.

Bill don't go, it's OK, we love you.

At night, I'll notice a thigh will just start aching. And this arm, and this...

I've seen worse. . . . It just so happens that your friend here is mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.

People thought this would be an award show -- but we couldn't get anybody to open up the envelopes. I've been backstage at a lot of rock concerts, and I've never seen musicians run away from white powder before!

Oh, I can't do it right now; I'm busy, I'm busy, too.

This guy was so large, he had his own climate.

I'm sure you'll see more (celebrities) if we make the playoffs.

We all have a different image of what old is, and if you were exposed to senior citizens at a young age, as I was, it can color your soul with terror.