306 Quotes by Bo Burnham

I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a ‘sociopath.’

At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.

People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.