306 Quotes by Bo Burnham

I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.

Being self-aware about doing something you hate doesn’t save you from the act.

Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don’t want to bully people, and I don’t want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.

You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I’m a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.

I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.

Onion You had many layers like an onion. Wait, no, like an artichoke – with your layers arranged like snake scales, not stacked like coats of paint. Be sure to call in a year or so and tell me whether I was lifting heavy stones off your bunker door or plucking petals off your face.

When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.