230 Quotes by Bob Newhart

There’s a lot of cynicism. Let’s really enjoy Christmas, with all that’s going on in the world.

One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you’re the boss. It’s your stage, and don’t screw with me because I’ll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.

Sometimes you forget you’re famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?

Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it’s part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I’m not about to screw with it now.

There’s gratification in making somebody laugh. It’s a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people laugh.

I don’t have a stack of scripts.

The reason I’m a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.

The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I’m not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.