221 Quotes by Bob Saget

Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn’t that a three-way?

A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.

The Comedy Store – all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren’t funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren’t accountants, they were making $30-$50 grand a year on the road, or more.

Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that’s really what The Aristocrats is based on – what will a family do out of desperation.

Words matter. Especially if you’re kicking someone’s ass in words with friends.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.

Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.