221 Quotes by Bob Saget

I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.

Oil is sixty dollars a barrel. There are terrorists everywhere. We have a catastrophe in our world every ten minutes. I don’t know how anybody’s getting through anything. Right now, people just need to be entertained.

I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?

At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.

I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.

I can’t do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.