221 Quotes by Bob Saget

Around comics, I’ve always been known for, oh, that’s not dirty, this is dirty.

The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.

If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.

If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?

I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.

Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.