221 Quotes by Bob Saget

What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends.

It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?

What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.

People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.