97 Quotes by Bob Uecker

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career – anything for a laugh.

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn’t hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me. Depending on the weight and model I was using at that time – I would say eight to 10 cookouts.

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn’t have that kinda money to put out.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team’s dugout and they were already in street clothes.

When I played baseball I got death threats all the time – from my mother.

They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don’t find the eggs, they get booed.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it’s never at the expense of the other guy.

On TV the people can see it. On radio you’ve got to create it.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn’t appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.