97 Quotes by Bob Uecker

I remember one time I'm batting against the Dodgers in Milwaukee. They lead, 2 - 1, it's the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two out and the pitcher has a full count on me. I look over to the Dodger dugout and they're all in street clothes.

Of course I do, Howie. If you had a truck and you gave it to me, that would be a truck-you-lent.

One time, I got pulled over at four AM. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a

Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

We noticed he missed a few games. Turns out he had heart surgery.

We're like a family. When someone is gone for a few games, we wonder what's happened to them.

You get a little wood carving knife in case you want to alter them,

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.