111 Quotes by Bonnie Badenoch
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- Author Bonnie Badenoch
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as one who will continue to practice radical inclusiveness as I fail again and again, I can say it is quite a relief to embrace the limitations of being human.
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The combination of outward privilege and emotional invisibility is one of the most hurtful and confusing ways to live. Nothing appears to be wrong and yet every day is a torturous maze of unreflected chaotic emotional upheaval, ameliorated only be regular descents into dorsal numbness.
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We have a tendency to become detached observers rather than participants. There might also be a sense of disassembling a complex, flowing process to focus on a small part of it. If we expand our focus to include emerging, one of the first changes we may notice is the bodily sense of being in the midst of something, of constant motion, lack of clarity (in the left-hemisphere sense), and unpredictability.
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If we focus on the means to change a person's state in the direction of what we believe is greater health, we are also stepping out of empathic connection. This is a violation of our innate expectation, at every biological level, that we are meant to be embedded in a nest of warm relationships.
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When our SEEKING system is pulled into the service of only pursuing tasks, goals, solutions, and success, its primary purpose of maintaining connection is subverted to the point it eventually gives up and we fall into despair.
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We stayed with the one who felt dead inside, acknowledging his protective value, even though we had no cognitive awareness of who and what he was sheltering ...'What is this depression, this one who is so still, wanting to tell us?
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Depression always brings to mind the possibility that the person's SEEKING system may have been turned off ...Our mutual trust in his system's wisdom kept us from being swept away by the despair he felt. We began to ask, "what is this depression, this one who is so still, wanting to tell us?" Then we waited. We stayed with the one who felt dead inside, acknowledging his protective value even when though we had no cognitive awareness of who and what he was sheltering.
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At moments of deep uncertainty, I find that I sometimes jump the tracks into taking control, and in those moments, if I can move back toward following, the process often finds its own feet again. All of this has gradually led me to believe that letting go of expectations about the outcome of therapy as much as possible gives the process the most room to show itself.
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listening to one another activates our mirror neurons and resonance circuitry (Iacoboni, 2009) so that we can be said to literally begin to inhabit one another's embodied emotional universe.
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