60 Quotes by Brad Wilkerson

A great road trip. To come back in Cleveland to win that series and get these two ... no excuses, but it's been a long road trip for just five games. It's huge going 4-1. Cleveland has a great team and Tampa Bay is playing better. But we pitched well and scored some runs. We're starting to jell together.

Tapping melons with your knuckles is a good way of making your selection in the store, but apparently it’s frowned upon at the strip club.

They say that dog is man’s best friend, and I think it’s true. My dog does a lot of the same stuff my best friend does, like drool on my couch, mooch my food and hump my wife.

As an enlisted sailor, I don’t feel that the Navy is advancing me in rank fast enough, so I’m going to change my last name to Stains. My guess is they would rather promote me than to have to refer to me as Seaman Stains.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I find it’s often in huge tits, too.

I recently read that Arnold Schwarzenegger collects Hummers. Now we know why Maria’s face is frozen in that puckered position.