25 Quotes by Brian P. Cleary

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

I love the semicolon; it’s unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they’ll enjoy it.

If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I’ve been issued.

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there’s some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it’s the punch line to a joke.

When a kid says “smell my hand,” it almost never smells like cinnamon.