48 Quotes by Bruce Vilanch

I have one rave 'New York Times' review framed next to a flop 'Los Angeles Times' review. And it's for the same show. These people watched the same show. That's what happens. They love it, they hate it.

It's the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don't care about.

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

I think I intimidate hecklers because I weigh more than most of them.

Musicals have clearly gotten more physical. You never saw Ethel Merman doing step aerobics.

Of course I adored and wanted to be Catwoman. That goes without saying.

As I'm always fond of telling hosts at the Oscars who are doing it for their first time, for everybody who wins, there are four people who don't. As the evening wears on, the room fills up with losers, and then they are bitter.

Every single line on the Oscar show is negotiated. Unless you've been there, you have no idea how it is put together. It's like nothing else on earth. I'm writing a book about it, but I have to throw in my sexual escapades to make sure it sells.