39 Quotes by Buddy Hackett

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.

I have the gift of laughter. I can make people laugh at will. In good times and in bad. And that I don’t question. It was a gift from God.

I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

My wife said to me, “I want to be cremated.” I said, “How about Tuesday?”

If it’s dirty, it’s not funny, but if it’s funny, it’s not dirty.

I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn’t, I hit them.

Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you’re cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you’re not telling jokes.

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.