85 Quotes by Carl Reiner

I only please myself. I figure I’m just one of many people. I’m not that different from anybody else and I don’t have great language – I’m very ordinary.

Give yourself an impossible task and solve it – then you’ve got a really good story.

I write books that way – I put a first line down and say, “Where does this go?”

You’d only write what you know and what you know is what you do and the people you know. So you’d write about them or the people you have met casually. It’s part of your life.

I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do. I have three children, I have grandchildren, I have books, I did movies, I’ve directed movies, I’ve done almost everything I’ve wanted to do.

I’m not a believer, I call myself an atheist. It was man who invented God. I once wrote that there are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish. There are far too many commandments and you really only need one: Do not hurt anybody.

I certainly have warm relationships with people, but you choose the people you have those relationships with. There are some people I don’t bother with.

When you denigrate people, they have two ways to fight back – with their fists and guns, or their mouths. And mouths are seemingly the easiest way to not get hit back. If people are laughing, they’re not going to hit you.

I’m a charming coward; I fight with words.