182 Quotes by Carlos Mencia

I’m the only person on Earth who’s not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!

And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don’t park in a handicapped spot.

People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.

I know that if any other comedian came up to me questioning something I did or said, it would be literally settled in a heartbeat. I love comedy. I give to comedy. I don't take from comedy.

Just because my name is Carlos Mencia, don't think my show is going to be about the difference between Mexicans and white people.

Here's the problem: People have completely and utterly forgotten one thing when it comes to communication - intent.

If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs.

If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.

I was never funny. I'd be funny once a year at Christmas. I'd do impressions of how people talked and danced, but that stopped when I was about 11.