182 Quotes by Carlos Mencia

I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.'

I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.

Is it my fault that there is a stereotype that black people are not good swimmers? I know that's a joke, but somebody will say, 'I can't believe you would say that.' Well, first of all it's just a joke, and second of all if you watch the Olympics, black people win medals in jumping, running. They don't win any in swimming.

It's a pleasure to be doing a show for Comedy Central. Traditional networks would cast me as the head of a household with 16 children, which I find extremely offensive because there are 18 kids in my family.

If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else.

Some people want to live in a world much prettier than the one I depict. But it exists, and I talk about it because it exists.

The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. 'Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison' or 'You remind me of Richard Pryor.' That's fine, because I know that's the process. Eventually, my own file will be created.

I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.

I never want to forget that my job is to make people laugh.