182 Quotes by Carlos Mencia

Before I got into stand-up, I was a really quiet guy who had all these thoughts, all these things I wanted to say, but there was never anyplace for me to say them because my mom would look at me and go, 'You better not say what you're thinking. You better not.'

I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.

I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year.

My birth name is Ned Mencia.

When I'm onstage, I'm on, but a different part of me is on: the part of me that absorbs life, sees everything occurring, and touches on everything around me.

When I was born, I was given to my uncle and aunt to raise as their kid because they couldn't have kids.

The really funny thing is that most all of my friends who are priests have seen me perform, and they say, 'I wish I could talk the way you do on stage. I wish I could reveal truth to my congregation the way you do.'

I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.

You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there's a good, honest, honorable reason for telling it.