182 Quotes by Carlos Mencia

It's an investment, so to speak. It's that human contest. In five, 10 years, if I wanted to go back and do a theater there, I'd be able to. People would go, 'Yeah, man, he came here. It was awesome,'

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,

I’m glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can’t swim.

The problem with the world is there’s too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

If you ain’t laughing, you ain’t living, baby.

God has a sense of humor. If you don’t believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

I’ll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

If your gonna drop out of school – tough grades are not your goal – then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

Dee Dee Dee dosen’t mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don’t even know it’s about you.