182 Quotes by Carlos Mencia

When it comes to my daughter, I’m a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I’m a liberal!

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I’m doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

I don’t have the time to steal other people’s material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don’t really contest them because I don’t believe they deserve contesting. I really don’t.

I’ll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America – Nebraska.

That’s not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it’s news!

I’m not white, I don’t apologize for what my country did to become great.

Here, let’s go to my dressing room, and I promise, I’ll only put it in for a second.

Racism is exclusion, that’s why I make fun of everybody.