82 Quotes by Carol Leifer

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I’ll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.

I think what I would say to my younger self, and probably to younger, just starting-out writers is that a lot of times you’re just afraid to put yourself out there, and it’s uncomfortable because it’s working up the courage to do something, to push yourself to do those things.

I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Obviously, at this age, I’ve lost people in my life. But with a parent, it’s just different. I was very attached to my father and had this naive little-girl notion that he’d always be around. So I’m finding acceptance of my father’s death is the hardest thing to accept.

Just be your authentic self because there’s nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

I’m not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a ‘yes.’ So it’s worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he’s somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.

Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it’s a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it’s a frilly bookmark.

Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, “Is someone sitting there?” just say, “No one except the Lord.”