82 Quotes by Carrot Top

I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.

People always say to me, Youre really attractive - in an unusual way. No one ever just says, Youre attractive.

I think it's important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

People always say to me, 'You're really attractive - in an unusual way.' No one ever just says, 'You're attractive.'

Like I told Howard, I can't help it that I'm beautiful.

I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I’m at home and it’s dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.

It’s weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.

I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. ‘Where did you get it?’ ‘I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can’t even watch their sign?’