288 Quotes by Charlie Sheen

I tried marriage. I’m 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer – I believe in numbers. I’m not going 0 for 4. I’m not wearing a golden sombrero.

I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

I’m 0 for 3 with marriage – the scoreboard doesn’t lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.

Athletes become our heroes, because they’re superhuman. They do things nobody else can do. They’re better than 6 billion other people.

When friends asked me, Can we help? I’d say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.

You make a choice to win and you win.

People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I’m gonna hang onto them and they’re gonna fuel my attack.

We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?

You can have rules at home that are different from the rest of the world’s as long as you’re not hurting anyone.