288 Quotes by Charlie Sheen

What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.

We’re going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I’m going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it’s worth a fortune. I’ll make this a work of magic warlock art.

I’m grandiose because I live a grandiose life.

I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest. I’m extremely old-fashioned. I’m a nobleman. I’m chivalrous.

I knew if I got loaded I was going away for a while. People would say, Oh, you’re just sober because you’re on probation.

I’m not wearing a golden sombrero.

I’ve spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.

I know that sounds arrogant, but you can’t not be special and have a 30-year career.

But you can’t focus on things that matter if all you’ve been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.