288 Quotes by Charlie Sheen

As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?

I don't want to get high with my kids, because then everything is different forever. That's so stupid, I think.

It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

You have the right to kill me, but you don't have the right to judge me. That's life. There's nobility in that. There's focus. It's genuine. It's crystal and it's pure and it's available to everybody, so just shut your traps and put down your McDonalds, your vaccines, your Us Weekly, your TMZ and the rest of it.

They sell pot named after me in the dispensaries. And I'm not even a pot guy. I was so honored.

I've spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.

We're going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I'm going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it's worth a fortune. I'll make this a work of magic warlock art.

Athletes become our heroes, because they're superhuman. They do things nobody else can do. They're better than 6 billion other people.

I blinked and I cured my brain.