545 Quotes by Chelsea Handler

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.

There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off.

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.