19 Quotes by Chris Cubas

Twitter is basically just writing a bunch of one-liners - it's a short form or whatever.

If you have any sense, if you're any good at comedy, you come to Austin.

I definitely have friends who gave me a tag for a joke I already had. Like, 'Here's another line.' A tag is, 'Oooooh, it's an industry term.' It's like, there's the punchline, and a tag is like a secondary punchline.

It's weird writing for a documentary because I have all these ideas for what I want to happen, but what actually happens is obviously completely different.

I felt like I couldn't meet a single rich person. Regardless of where I live, they don't want to talk to me. I threw a barbecue and invited the whole neighborhood, and nobody showed up.

When 'Titanic' came out on VHS, I was working at a Sam's Club, which is already the worst. I don't know what you know about working for the Walton family, but it's horrific.

I don't know a single person that's like, ''Avatar' is my favorite movie.' It never even comes up. I don't know anyone that will defend that movie.

Kansas City, well, part of the town's pretty cool, and part of the town is not. But it's gonna be that way no matter where you go.

The holy grail for me is just stand-up - It's always been that. If I can just tour and headline in stand-up, that's the dream. But I'll do anything that looks like fun, y'know?