257 Quotes by Chris Hardwick

I’ve gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you’re performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.

I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes – ‘Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!’ – I’m way into.

Being constructively critical is good, as long as your purpose is to improve your methods for future endeavors. Lying in bed and replaying failures and telling yourself you’re stupid is a tremendous disservice to your efforts and what you can offer the world.

What’s more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.

My father was one of the greatest professional bowlers of all time. Seriously. Billy Hardwick: PBA Hall of Fame, Player of the Year in ’63 and ’69, and the first winner of the triple crown of bowling, among other things.

I hate to say it, but because of humanity’s capitalistic nature, money is important.

The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We’re the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

If you do a joke that’s really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, ‘Real original, you’re just doing old jokes!’ But bands do it all the time.