18 Quotes by Christian Lander


  • Author Christian Lander
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    If you look into the footnotes of the business model for Apple Computer you'll see that they actually give the computers away for free; they just charge for the inflated sense of self-worth.

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Just as Muslims have to visit Mecca, all white people must eventually renovate a house before they can be complete.

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    When it comes to the subject it's best to understand thatwhite people do not recognize public transit as a viable option until a subway line is built that runs directly from their house to their work.

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near water. Extreme reading!

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    Right now, all white people are either wearing or coveting a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. These sunglasses are so popular now that you cannot swing a canvas bag at a farmer’s market without hitting a pair. In fact, at outdoor gatherings you should count the number of Wayfarers so you can determine exactly how white the event is. If you see no Wayfarers you are either at a country music concert or you are indoors.

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    Since white people can’t really blame any race for their problems, they need to blame corporations.

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    You don’t have to be white to be white, you just have to be rich.

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  • Author Christian Lander
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    It is the dream of every white person to be able to resolve all conflicts by complaining to unrelated parties.

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