653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death.

…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.

Flood legó al mundo una estela de libros magníficos y de corazones rotos, y aunque es bien sabido que el amor de su vida fue también su perdición, nunca se arrepintió de ello, como demuestra su discurso de aceptación del premio Nobel: «He seguido a mi pene al infierno y he vuelto para contarlo».

The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.

Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.

Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....

Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy.

A death that results from your actions is basically killing someone, unless you’re a politician, right?

I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.