653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

Blessed are the dumbfucks.

He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.

The sofa was lumpy enough to have had a body sewed into it; stuffing spilled out of the arms where the victim had tried to escape.

I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the ability to imagine dangers, to look into the future in his imagination and see possibilities, and therefore survived to pass his genes on to the next generation.

That's a horrible plan.""Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.

She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference.

El pecado de Onán. Derramar en el suelo la vieja semilla. Atar el camello. Quitarle el polvo al burro. Azotar al fariseo. Onanismo, el pecado que requiere de cientos de horas de práctica para ser dominado, o al menos eso era lo que yo me decía a mí mismo. Dios mató a Onán por derramar su semilla en el suelo (la semilla de Onán, no la de Dios).

A Bluesman hates to be told what to do. Authority rankles him, inspires his rebellion, and plays to his need to self-destruct. A Bluesman doesn't take to having a boss unless he's on a chain gang (for the chain gang boss ranks below only a mean old woman and a sweet young thing in the hierarchy of the Blues Muse, followed closely by bad liquor, a dead dog, and the Man).

Methinks the lady doth protest too much," said Iago."Methinks the lady protests just the right amount," said Emilia. "Methinks the lady is just getting fucking started protesting.