653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet, the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes mad, drowns his girlfriend, and in his remorse, forces spoiled breakfast on all whom he meets.

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.

- Serão todas as mulheres mais fortes e melhores do que eu?- Sim - respondeu ele.

She laughed. My favorite music.

It was an eight-harlot inn, if that's how you measure an inn. (I understand that now they measure inns in stars. We are in a four-star inn right now. I don't know what the conversion from harlots to stars is.)

Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.

Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a," she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of consonants.

[Acknowledgments] I recommend them all for further reading, but when you're finished, you may have to read several of my books and watch a lot of TV just to get stupid enough to function in the modern world again.

[Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really.("Would you like fries with that?""Shut up and stop killing whales!""Thank you. Drive through, please.")