653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

I don't know,' Charlie said. 'Have you gotten a good look at them? I mean, they got the badonkadonk out back and some fine bajoopbadangs up front, know what I'm sayin', dog? Buss a rock wid a playa?' He offered his fist for Minty to buss him a rock, but alas, the mint one left him hangin'.

You don't have to tell him anything, Asher,' Lily said, obviously renewing her loyalty in spite of his douche wafflosity.

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.

It's like time travel only, you know, slower...

Jody screamed at him: a high, explosive, unintelligible expulsion of pure inhuman frustration--a Hendrix high note sampled and sung by a billion suffering souls in Hell's own choir.

You bitch! You killed me! You suck!

Adeline had come to Christianity the same way she had come to sex and smoking:through peer pressure.Thinking about her six kids and her smoker's hack, she wondered if perhaps peer pressure didn't always lead to the best habits.

Hope is merely another face of desire. And desire is a motherfucker.

It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.