653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?

All of the trickster, rascal characters that I write have the voice I aspire to. In real life, you can't be that obnoxious and get away with it.

...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.

As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.

Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.

That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.

I can't write a book like 'Lamb' or 'Fool' every year. It just takes too much research and craft.

If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.

Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.