653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

I was baptized Methodist, but I was mainly raised First Church of NFL, which is to say that my family, especially my father, was much more concerned with watching football on Sundays than attending services.

In the movie, the painting is supposed to be worth $100 million. No painting is worth $100 million. But for the movie, $100 million is a number that any person can understand as expensive. If you say $50 million nowadays, it's not enough.

He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of.

You know, a vampire book is not a book to be the vehicle for big themes and stuff, where sometimes when you're dealing with art or the life of Christ or the oeuvre of Shakespeare, you know, it's a little more ambitious.

He's probably one of the top Native American composers working now. He's flying in from Minneapolis and will be here on Saturday night for the performance.

Words, words, words, a million million words circle in my head like hawks, waiting to dive onto the page to rend and tear the only two words I want to write. Why me?

You're going to break my heart, aren't you?

Gallery owners know me, but they never say, 'Hello,' because they don't want other people to know they know me, ... I have a little flag on my head saying, 'I'm the guy doing the fake things.'

Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon.