653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.

I came back to San Francisco and spent more time in the neighborhoods like Chinatown and the Mission that I hadn't been in much before. I tried to get a feel for all parts of the city, so when I wrote the book, the neighborhoods would be like characters. There are scenes where all Charlie does is walk through neighborhoods, and it's like an Impressionist painting.

Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles and the kinkiest fans!

Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.

Collectors say, 'I hate reproductions. It's awful. Why would anybody do that?,' ... That's what they say officially. But behind the scenes they use our copies. On the walls they have our copies. All their paintings are in vaults.

...One time you take a hundred thousand dollars and let a vampire go, the whole world turns on you like you're some kind of bad guy.

Devil's Food?" You can only eat so much white cake, my friend.

How could you deal with a creature as devious as woman.

They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.