653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he’s always eight, and he’s still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There's no such place.

How would I feel, he thought, If I woke up and she was making love to me? Why I believe that I would be pleasantly surprised.

Nobody’s perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...

I’m very insecure, actually, but I have found that if you roll up screaming like a madwoman, hair on fire, guns blazing, no one is going to mention the zit on your forehead.” Which.

Like God’s own chocolate, I’d lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk.

I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, “Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together” and make me finish in front of everyone.

Take a moment to catch your breath and revel in your rhetorical mastery and achievement.

All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren’t afraid.