653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

She was an alien, really – a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine – and he didn’t understand anything about her species.

You’re going to break my heart, aren’t you?

That’s what I’m saying,” said Charlie, who wasn’t saying that at all.

If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key – and this is very relevant in our case – is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.

Sometimes, it turned out, art was what you had to say, not how you said it.

The dull always seek to be clever at the fool’s expense, to somehow repay him for his cutting wit, but never are they clever, and often they are cruel.

Is it the fault of a girl bright with the light of romance that she falls in love with a rascal? Is the love any less pure? Any less heartfelt? Any less painful when lost?

Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.

Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around. So it shall be written.