653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair...

Every time you give them a new metaphor for the kingdom they see the metaphor, a mustard seed, a field, a garden, a vineyard, it’s like pointing something out to a cat – the cat looks at your finger, not at what you’re pointing at.

Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the beta male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions.

If you like what you’re reading, I probably wrote it.

In each picture is a whole lifetime imprisoned, a whole lifetime of fears, doubts, hopes and joys.

For me, ‘Lamb’ started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in ‘Coyote Blue’ and ‘Island of the Sequined Love Nun,’ but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.

Abby Von Normal – And I’m like, “Don’t change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you’re ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don’t know how much that is in kilos.

I like my tea like I like my men,” Audrey said. Jane looked at her quizzically. “Weak and green,” Charlie said.

You do not cause death, you do not prevent death, you are a servant of Destiny, not its agent. Get over yourself.