653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don’t want reviews from them, simply because I don’t need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something.

I’m thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off.

To be safe is to be afraid.

Sometimes, methinks, a lass just needs to have a proper enraged scream.

You whoreson scalawag!” said I. “You flesh-turd dropped stinking from the poxy arsehole of a hare-lipped harlot!

A little girl’s voice said, “I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!” Audrey held the phone out for Charlie. “It’s for you.

From Dickens’s cockneys to Salinger’s phonies, from Kerouac’s beatniks to Cheech and Chong’s freaks, and on to hip hop’s homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.

You know, he doesn’t have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin’ time rolls around.

A little mucus is nothing against the power of the Lord.