653 Quotes by Christopher Moore

So, I guess we’re going to kill this guy, she thought. Then she said, “How does Thursday look for you?

Every guy can basically be boiled down to what he wants and what he’s afraid of.

In the ancient world, blue was a breed of darkness.

She glanced over her shoulder to look at the forty-foot cabin cruiser where Captain Tarwater posed on the bow looking like an advertisement for a particularly rigid laundry detergent – Bumstick Go-Be-Bright, perhaps.

Look, I’ve always had an empty place in my life that I’ve alternatively tried to fill with food and penises, but now I have something.

The visual conjured in Val’s mind – all that parched, wrinkled flesh in furious friction – culminated in flames, as if some giant cosmic Boy Scout had decided to rub two old people together to make a fire.

So, have you seen Flood?” she asked. “Cop?” She added “cop” with a high pop on the p, like it was a punctuation mark, not a profession.

In order to hold off the Forces of Darkness, you will need a number two pencil and a calendar, preferably one without pictures of kitties on it.

He didn’t understand religion. It was like heroin or golf: He knew a lot of people did it, but he didn’t understand why.